The Necessities
by Kittyclaw
Summary: Oneshot. When Ulrich agreed to stop at the store for Yumi, he wasn't expecting the suprise item at the end of the shopping list. But between himself, Odd, and Jeremy, one of them must know something about these feminine products...Right?


**I was just sitting in class one day, minding my own sweet business, when along came a plot bunny that absolutely mauled me. It was inspired by a scene in the amazing RenaYumi's fic "Summer of the Traveling Princess" where Yumi asks Ulrich to head to the store for certain girly items. The idea? What would happen if Yumi sent our three favorite Lyoko heros off to buy her some, shall we say feminine products? The result? This here fic. Lots of humor and clueless boys shopping for something they know nothing about. Was I able to pull it off? Please let me know! And now- Enjoy the fic :)**

Ulrich almost didn't hear the ringing of his phone, the music Odd currently had his radio blaring all but tuned out the little ringer. Luckily he felt it vibrating against his leg and keeping hold of the wheel with one hand, he crammed the other into his pocket to fish out the little device.

"Hello?" he shouted as he answered, tucking the cell between his shoulder and ear. He could hear someone say something on the other end, though what exactly he couldn't tell. Turning to glare at Odd, who was attempting to break dance across Ulrich's backseat without first removing his seat belt, Ulrich pressed the radio's off button. Odd continued singing along, both loudly and off key, for a few more seconds. When he realized the radio had been shut off he pouted pathetically at his friend. But Ulrich was already turned back around, his eyes on the road as he ignored his friend. "Sorry about that," he said.

_"No problem,"_ a voice laughed from the other end of the phone. Ulrich grinned when he recognized it as Yumi's. _"Odd again?"_

"Who else?" Ulrich asked. Yumi laughed again.

"Are you guys talking about me?" Odd asked suspiciously as he draped himself over the back of Jeremy's chair, ignoring the scowl the blond sent his way.

"Of course not Odd," Ulrich said, rolling his eyes. "Why would we do that?" He then proceeded to tune out whatever it was that Odd said next, leaving Jeremy to deal with the boy while he returned to his conversation. "What's up Yumi?"

_"You guys are just leaving the school, right?"_ Yumi asked.

"Yeah, why?"

_"Me and Aelita realized we're missing a few things and we were wondering if you guys could pick them up for us on your way over, along with some stuff I need at home."_

"Uh, sure," Ulrich said. Tucking his phone back between shoulder and ear he reached over into his backpack, which was sitting open on the floor by Jeremy's feet. When his friend saw what he was doing he rolled his eyes. Swatting Ulrich's arm away and pointing to the road, he asked him what he was looking for.

"Paper and pen," Ulrich mouthed. Jeremy nodded, digging around until he found a pen and a notebook, which he flipped open to a blank page.

"Okay Yumi," Ulrich said, "Let me know what you need."

_"Give the phone to someone else,"_ Yumi said, "_I don't want you writing while you drive."_

"It's okay, I'm telling Jeremy what to write."

The laugh from Yumi was not quite the response Ulrich was expecting. He heard Aelita ask _"What?"_ and Yumi repeated what he'd told her. Now both girls were laughing.

"What?" Ulrich asked.

_"Nothing, nothing,"_ Yumi answered, reigning in her giggles. _"Okay, here's what we need- a few drinks for the party, just some two litter bottles of something."_

"Bottles of something to drink," Ulrich relayed to Jeremy.

"Drinks," Jeremy repeated, scribbling it down.

_"Three bags of chips, preferably nothing spicy."_

"Bags of chips," Ulrich said.

"Chips," Jeremy responded.

_"We one of those packs of paper towel rolls," _Yumi listed.

"Pack of paper towels," Ulrich said with a nod.

"Paper towels," Jeremy wrote.

_"And if you could be a doll and pick up a box of regular tampons; that would be great."_

"Box of tampons."

"Tamp-- What?"

"Yumi!" Ulrich shouted, pulling his phone away from his ear and staring at it for a second before putting it back. When he did he could hear both Yumi and Aelita laughing down the other end.

_"Please Ulrich?"_ she asked around giggles. _"I won't have time to get them myself until Monday."_ Ulrich moaned and whined while Jeremy gaped at him from the passenger seat. In the back seat Odd was laughing so hard that if hadn't been buckled in he would have been rolling about on the floor.

"Yumi," Ulrich whined, a pout plastered across his face.

_"Ulrich,"_ Yumi whined back. _"Please."_

Before Ulrich could answer Odd bounced up from the back seat, snatching Ulrich's cell off of him.

"Don't worry Yumi, Ulrich will take care of it," he told the girl cheerfully. He then shouted "Ulrich, watch the road!" when the brunet spun around in his seat, trying to lunge at Odd to get his phone back and forcing Jeremy to grab the wheel to keep them from careening into the curb.

_"What's going on over there?" _Yumi asked as a car behind the guys blared its horn.

"Nothing, we're fine," Odd said and Ulrich spun around and retook the wheel. "We'll see you when we get to your house. Bye Yumi!" Odd hung up the phone before Yumi could protest the quick cut off, and then tossed the device into Jeremy's lap.

"Odd?" Ulrich growled, scowling at the blond. "Why did you tell her we would go?"

"Because I'm a good friend," Odd said, sticking his tongue out at the brunet. He then leaned up between the two front seats, pointing at the turn that was coming up. "I believe the store is that way," he said with a grin. Ulrich groaned, letting his head fall against the steering wheel.

This was going to be a long day.

--

"There's so many…colors."

Both Jeremy and Ulrich turned their heads to stare at Odd, who was staring up wide mouthed at the shelf in front of him. When he felt the tingle of his friends' gazes he turned to stare back at them.

"What?"

"So many colors?" Jeremy repeated, causing Ulrich to give a snort of laughter. Odd wrinkled his nose at the pair.

"Well, there are."

"You know, maybe we should start somewhere else," Jeremy said as Ulrich rolled his eyes. "Come on you two," he said as he started down the isle, shaking his head as he passed by Odd, who was at the moment pulling a face at Ulrich. When they realized they were being left behind the two boys made one more face at each other and then scurried after their friend.

"So, what are we getting now?" Odd asked as he jogged up behind Jeremy.

"I think we'll start with the drinks," the blond said, showing Odd the list. Odd took the piece of paper from his friend and looked it over as they entered the drink isle.

"What kind of drinks?" he asked curiously.

"Non-alcoholic," Ulrich told him, snatching the list away. Odd laughed, grabbing for the paper, which Ulrich held against his chest protectively.

"Obviously," he said, trying to leap on Ulrich's back.

"Children, behave yourselves," Jeremy said, his voice layered with sarcasm.

"Yeah yeah Einstein," Odd said, climbing off of his friend. Looking around the shelves, he grabbed the first drink he saw- an absolutely massive four litter bottle of orange soda. "Can we get this?"

Ulrich quirked an amused eyebrow at Jeremy.

"Umm," Jeremy started, "Maybe something a tad…smaller?" Odd's face fell, but he put the drink back and found another one. Ulrich glanced around the bottles that surrounded him, and then he too grabbed something. Something that Odd was quick to snatch away from him.

"Ulrich, seriously?" Odd asked, holding up the green bottle. "Ginger ale?"

"What?" Ulrich asked. "Yumi said get something, she didn't say what. Besides, she likes it."

"But- but this isn't a real drink!" Odd turned to look pleadingly at Jeremy. The blonde shrugged at him.

"What, I like it."

"…You two? Have no taste," Odd declared. He then handed the two large bottles to Jeremy, who glared and tried to hand them back. Odd dodged away from him. "Na-ah, you touched them last!"

"Come on Odd, seriously?" Odd simply stuck his tongue out, causing Jeremy to scowl.

"Alright," Ulrich said, drawing the pair's attention. "What's next?"

--

"You know, there really are a lot of colors."

"Hah, see!?"

"Ulrich, you know better than to encourage him," Jeremy half admonished his friend as the trio found themselves once again staring up at a wall of feminine products. "So, where should we start?"

"With the purple box."

"Odd, don't make me hit you."

Odd grinned at Jeremy, reaching up and grabbing a random box off of the shelf. He read the front for a few seconds before asking curiously, "What does it mean 'has wings'?"

Jeremy and Ulrich exchanged looks.

"So," Ulrich drawled, "I see that chips are on the list." Jeremy nodded, and with that Odd crammed the box he was holding back onto the shelf and scurried off and away in the direction of the snack isle.

"You know, we have to get them eventually," Jeremy told Ulrich, crossing his arms over his chest as he followed the brunet out of the isle.

"I know," Ulrich said, "But I think we should leave it till last."

"And why's that?"

"So we have to carry them around for the least amount of time."

"…Good point," Jeremy said, his arms falling back to his sides. Ulrich allowed himself a smug grin.

"I know."

"Hey, guys," Odd shouted, suddenly interrupting the pair's conversation as they reached the much more boy friendly isle of snack foods. They found him clutching five large bags of chips in his arms. "How many can we get?"

"It's like shopping with a little kid," Ulrich said, shaking his head while Odd grinned up at Jeremy.

"Uh, just three," Jeremy said. Odd's expression fell, the grin instantaneously becoming a pout. Both Jeremy and Ulrich raised eyebrows at the sulking blond, and after another minute of his kicked puppy act he finally gave up, dumping the bags back on the shelf with a sigh.

"Fine," he whined. "Which ones are we getting?"

"Umm…," Ulrich answered intelligently, looking over to Jeremy for help. Jeremy shrugged, checking the list.

"I don't know."

"Great," Odd sighed, "At this rate we're going to be here forever."

"We wouldn't be here at all if you hadn't agreed to come get those things for Yumi," Ulrich said, glowering at Odd.

"Yes we would have," the blonde shot back, "You had already told her we would go. I just agreed to the extra items."

"Which is why we're taking so long," Ulrich pointed out.

"Pffft, Details." Ulrich rolled his eyes, and Odd stuck his tongue out. And Jeremy felt less like a fellow teen and more like a babysitter with each passing moment.

"Guys," he said, interrupting their face pulling match. "Can you wait until we're done shopping before you start that?"

"Why?" they asked in unison. Jeremy gave them a flat look.

"Just go pick the chips."

Ten minutes and another brawl later and the group had three bags of chips in hand. Well, Ulrich had three bags of chips. Jeremy had the drinks and so far Odd still had his hands free.

"Alright guys," he said, a grin on his face. His two friends scowled at him, but he just ignored them. "What are we going to get next?"

--

"Okay, you're right. There are a lot of colors."

"I told you! Didn't I say that Ulrich?"

"…What else do we need?"

--

Odd heaved a sigh as he snatched a three pack of paper towels off of the shelf. "This is so lame," he grumbled as he did.

"Hey," Jeremy said, "At least you two can't get into a fight about which paper towels we should get."

Odd grinned. "Don't tempt me."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Jeremy said, rolling his eyes. He then scowled as Odd bopped Ulrich over the head with the paper towel. Ulrich was about to retaliate with one of his bags of chips when one of the store employees appeared in the isle. When he looked over at the group, quirking an eyebrow at the bag of chips Ulrich held like a weapon over Odd's head, they all gave him horribly fake toothy grins and then vanished back into the store's main isle.

"You know, you two are going to get us kicked out of here," Jeremy told the pair, who were now laughing over what had just happened.

"Maybe we should," Odd said, shrugging. "Then we wouldn't have to buy Yumi's stuff." Jeremy stopped walking, a thoughtful look coming over his face.

"Come on Einstein," Odd said, shoving the blonde forward again while Ulrich laughed.

"Yeah, you know if we got to Yumi's without the stuff she'd just send us to a different store."

"This is true," Jeremy said, shrugging a shoulder as the group reached the hygiene products isle. A quick joke was made about this being a place Odd didn't visit often, followed by another event of paper towels becoming a weapon, and then the pair was once more standing at the shelf of feminine products.

"So…do you guys have any way to…narrow down our choices?" Odd asked.

"Umm…we want tampons," Ulrich said, pulling a face as he said it.

"Gee, thanks," Odd said, rolling his eyes. "That only leaves half of the isle left."

"Hey," Ulrich complained, "It's more help than you've given." Odd thought about this for a moment, then shrugged.

"This is true."

"So, what kind do we need to get?" Jeremy asked curiously.

"Tampons," Odd told him matter-of-factly. Jeremy gave him one of his 'you're an idiot looks', but refrained from commenting.

"How about we just call Yumi and ask what she wanted?" Jeremy instead asked.

"Now there's the first good idea I've heard today," Ulrich said, reaching into his pocket.

"No, we can't do that!" Odd shouted. "Do you know how lame that would look?" Ulrich stared at Odd for a few seconds, then turned back to his phone and hit the speed dial.

--

"Yumi, you're phone is ringing!" Aelita called from where she was sitting on the floor filling balloons. Leaping down from the chair she was using to hang streamers, Yumi dashed over to the table, snatching up the device.

"Hello?"

"_Hey Yumi, it's Ulrich. I was wondering-"_

"_Ulrich! Hang up! We can figure it out!"_

"_Odd stop, let me ask!"_

"_No, give it!"_

"_Get off!"_

"_Guys, not in the store!"_

"_Hit me with that paper towel again and see what happens!"_

"_Try it!"_

"_No, don't throw those!"_

"_Odd don't take-"_

"_Hey Yumi, we're fine, don't need help, see you at the party!"_

_Click._

"Who was that, the boys?"Aelita asked when she saw Yumi hang up and stare at her cell.

"Yeah," she answered, giving the phone a confused look.

"What did they want?"

"…I have no idea."

--

"Thanks Odd," Ulrich growled, snatching back his phone and cramming it in his pocket.

"Did you really want the fact that you had to call Yumi for tampon clarification hanging over you for the rest of your life?" Odd asked. Ulrich glared at him.

"Odd, can you even spell clarification?"

"Can't you two behave for five minutes?" Jeremy asked, exasperated. "Let's focus, shall we?"

"I think we should just pick one," Ulrich said with a shrug. "If Yumi doesn't like them she can just bring them back, right?"

"I guess so," Jeremy said.

He didn't make any move to grab a box.

Ulrich looked at him questioningly.

Jeremy shook his head. "They're for Yumi," he said. "You have to get them."

"What?" Ulrich asked, his expression shocked. "Why me?"

"Cause Yumi is _your_ girlfriend," Odd explained. "Well, she's practically your girlfriend," he amended when Ulrich glared at him. The brunet tried to come up with a good excuse as to why one of the other boys should have to do it instead but none came. And so, handing off some of his chips to Odd, he grabbed the first box of tampons to reach his fingers. He then hurried out of the isle and to the first register he could get to.

"Hello, were you able to find everything you were looking for today?" a perky voice asked.

"Yeah, I was thanks," Ulrich said, flashing the cashier a quick smile. He did a double take though when he noticed that, to his horror, the cashier was a girl. And she had noticed the box of tampons.

"Aww," she cooed, grabbing them and scanning them. "Are you getting these for your girlfriend? That's so sweet, I wish my boyfriend would do stuff like that for me." Ulrich just stared opened mouthed at the girl, who was now blabbering on about how un-thoughtful her boyfriend was. She hadn't even given Ulrich time to answer her question. And she wasn't done yet.

"Mark!" she shouted to the guy who was currently bagging the trio's purchases. "Don't you think that's sweet? You should buy that kind of stuff for your girlfriend; she would totally love you for it."

"Uh-huh," Mark said, obviously not paying the girl any attention as he finished up and handed the bags off to a snickering Odd and Jeremy.

"Whoever your girlfriend is, I hope she knows she's got a keeper," the cashier continued to babble. "Your total is 22.47 by the way. You know, cause my boyfriend-"

"Uh, here," Ulrich interrupted, handing the girl twenty five euro. "Keep the change," he added, quickly joining Jeremy and Odd as they hurried away from the chatty cashier and out of the store.

"I think she liked you Ulrich!" Odd joked once they were out in the parking lot. He received a withering glare in return.

"Just get in the car," he growled. Grinning, the blond climbed into the back of the vehicle, Jeremy and Ulrich taking their seats up front. Soon enough the trio was back on the road and on their way to Yumi's once more. It was a few minutes before Ulrich spoke again.

"Guys?" he said.

"Yeah?"

"Let's agree now. We never speak of this again. Agreed?"

"Agreed."


End file.
